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Basic needs checklist for parents By Genevieve Simperingham

This emotional needs checklist can help parents identify what might be missing and what's needed for their child when their child is out of balance. There may well be small steps you can take towards meeting those needs today.

Happy, Confident, Co-Operative children are children who …….

• Feel safe and secure.
• Feel loved and liked.
• Feel warmly connected to.
• Feel listened to, understood and acknowledged, they believe “my thoughts and feelings are important in our family”.
• Feel respected and valued – spoken to, looked at and touched respectfully. 
• Feel encouraged and supported – lots of positive reflection.
• Can express their needs for help, attention and support without fear.
• Are allowed and supported to express their strong feelings – If they don’t get it out, they’ll act it out.
• Are not afraid to make mistakes.
• Are taught and guided, not punished.
• Do not fear their parents/ caregivers.
• Go to sleep each night feeling loved and cherished – all conflicts repaired.
• Eat enough fresh healthy food and drink plenty of water.
• Live in a smoke free, drug free environment.
• Are not overly stressed or pressured to perform.
• Are free to learn at their own pace.
• Have lots of fun, play and laughter with family and friends.
• Spend lots of time in nature.
• Are not over exposed to TV, computers, adults themes.
• Live in an emotionally responsible, healthy and mature family - integrity valued.
• Have healthy, mature role models to aspire to.  Kids need real life heros!
• Get enough sleep, rest and peace (reading, art, etc).
• Have adults who spend time talking with them.
• Feel proud of their identity, family and culture.
• Feel supported, not overpowered, when problem solving.
• Share family meals and quality family time.
• Get regular quality one on one time with their parent(s).
• Feel confident that conflicts can be worked through and learned from together.

If your child’s behaviour is aggressive, chaotic, hyperactive, withdrawn or otherwise problematic on a regular basis, have a think through the above check list.  Does your child have some unmet basic needs? Are there small steps you can start to take to meet these needs?

Do you need help and support to better understand what your children are communicating through their behaviour? 

Do you need help and support to make changes to your lifestyle or to your styles of communication within the family?

Where can you access that help in your family, extended family or community?

Ring Genevieve Simperingham, certified parent coach, to make time for a free no-obligation 15 minute consultation (once off offer). Phone: (0064) 09 4343 542

www.peaceful-parent.com