Parenting

The Way of the Peaceful Parent
Seminars

For parents, health care professionals, teachers, caregivers, therapists and healers who work with children.

Upcoming Seminars in Whangarei, New Zealand:

Old Library - Sunday 23rd September
Forum North  -  Sunday 14th October
Forum North - Sunday 11th November
10am to 4.30pm Each Sunday.

Next weekend residential will be the 23rd to 25th November.  

• Effective alternatives to punishment
• Helping children heal from stress and trauma
• Increasing children's attention span and intelligence
• Improving children's self-esteem and emotional health
• Reducing children's violent behavior and hyperactivity
• Benefits of “in-arms crying" as opposed to “crying it out”
• Helping babies sleep through the night without ignoring them

We offer one day introductory seminars, as well as weekend intensives. The introductory seminar offers an overview of the basic principles and philosophies that form the foundation of our parenting courses and teaches some essential positive parenting skills.

The concepts and approaches that Genevieve will introduce in her Parenting Workshops are based on a combination of attachment-style parenting, active listening skills, counselling and therapeutic approaches to emotions and also the work of Dr. Aletha Solter. 

Articles on Therapeutic Parenting

Not only is there an alternative to punishment, it is the only alternative that leads to long term peace and harmony in families

As opposed to focusing on the child's behaviour in isolation, we give a broader understanding of the dynamics between parent and child. The mood between parent and child is the main factor in determining a child’s “good” or “bad” behaviour. Although using rewards or threats may work in the short term, we teach that adopting a punishment free approach to parenting is a key factor in establishing harmony and a good team spirit in the family.  On the courses, parents learn what it means to parent in a kind, calm and peaceful manner, while maintaining strong and clear boundaries for their children.  

Adopting a therapeutic approach to parenting lifts both the adult and child out of the power struggle

The approaches being presented on these courses differ from most conventional approaches to parenting. Many parenting approaches focus on changing a child's behaviour using techniques that involve time out and creating artificial consequences for the child. We will be looking deeper into the negative side effects of approaches that involve punishments, threats or bribes. The overall approach being presented is a therapeutic approach for both adult and child, where the adult learns to stay in their adult and focuses on resolving conflicts in a way that meets both the needs of the parent and the child.

Aggression, hyperactivity and whinging in children are generally symptoms of the child need to release their pent up stresses and frustrations. When we can give children the safety and permission to feel and express their feelings, children can return to balance and again live happily in the moment. When children are emotionally settled and calm, they naturally can give their full attention and enthusiasm to their daily play and learning. On the other hand, the child who carries a backlog of invalidated and unreleased tears and fears is less available mentally and emotionally and will be generally frustrated, unsettled or inhibited.

Although most parents endeavor to parent with patience and kindness, all parents understand that putting the principle into practice is no easy task and it's unfair to "expect" ourselves as parents to just be calm and non-critical without a lot of learning, support and quite a lot of processing of our own emotional hurts. The parent's need for emotional support and release is just as big and just as valid as the child's and the first is actually a pre-requisite for the second. For this reason, we also offer understanding about how the patterns from our own chidhood influence how we parent as adults.

Article: Connections between Energy Blocks and Children's Emotions

Genevieve's husband Dan assists on the courses and is also passionate about helping other parents learn the methods that will lead to greater peace and harmony in their families. Genevieve and Dan have two children, a son and daughter, aged 10 and 5 respectively. When pregnant with their first child, they were strongly influenced by Aletha Solter's book "the Aware Baby", "the Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff and "the Secret Life of the Unborn Child".

Dr. Aletha Solter is an internationally recognized expert in the field of child psychology.  Solter holds a Ph.D. in psychology, has led workshops in nine countries and is the founder of the Aware Parenting Institute (www.awareparenting.com).  She is the author of four parenting books.

Based on cutting-edge research and insights in child development, Dr. Solter's "Aware Parenting" concepts question most traditional assumptions about raising children, and proposes a new approach that can profoundly shift a parent's relationship with his or her child. Parents who follow this approach raise children who are bright, compassionate, competent, nonviolent, and drug free.

Some of the key aspects in Aletha Solter's books are the acceptance of emotional release, awareness of babies' and children's vulnerability to stress and trauma, recognition of repressed emotional pain as a contributing factor in many behavioral and emotional problems, recognition of the healing effects of laughter, crying, and raging, respectful, empathic listening and acceptance of children's emotions.

Aware Parenting also supports natural childbirth and early bonding, plenty of physical contact (including night-time closeness), breast-feeding, prompt responsiveness to crying, sensitive attunement, and non-punitive discipline -- no punishments of any kind (including "time-out" and artificial "consequences"), no rewards or bribes, searching for underlying needs and feelings, non-violent communication, peaceful conflict-resolution (family meetings, mediation, etc.).

These workshops offer an invaluable opportunity to take an objective look at the real issues and the real potential within your parent child relationships.

The courses offer a time to take a deeper look at your feelings and needs as a parent or caregiver. We cannot effectively meet our children's deeper emotional needs when we do not have these needs met ourselves. Despite our deep desire as parents to give our children the very best that they deserve, the reality is that until we learn healthier ways of interacting, we continue to act and react out of deep rooted patterns and beliefs ingrained in us from our own childhood years. Understanding this actually allows us to have more patience and compassion for ourselves as well as giving us the hope that we can indeed change the patterns.

Through Genevieve's healing and counselling work with adults and children, she has a deep understanding of how challenging, as well as how rewarding, the process of changing our parenting patterns can be. The reality is that for a parent to parent from the heart in a kind hearted manner without using punishment, it is only possible when a parent has access to the necessary clarity, peace of mind and correct information. For most parents, being calm, patient and clear enough to parent in this way is easier said than done. It is a state that is reached through a journey of self healing and increased awareness.

Parents can be very hard on themselves when, after reading a positive parenting book or attending a course, they revert back to their old methods of yelling and using punishments and threats. They can either give up on themselves or their new methods. Parents need to understand that they can't change decades of conditioning overnight. Giving our kids the patience and kindness that they need and deserve is only possible when we are putting equal focus on learning to become kinder and more patient with ourselves.

It is extremely liberating to realize why you and your child act in the ways that you do and to realize that you can choose to create a more positive and loving relationship for all concerned.

To parent, teach or be with children in a way that truly honors the child's soul, we need to connect back emotionally and energetically with how we as children viewed and experienced the world. The deepest way to truly understand the needs of a child is through reconnecting with our own childhood.

Healing our relationship with the children in our world truly can heal broken hearts and soften hardened hearts.

As an energy healer, I can clearly see the connections between the physical ailments that a child presents and the places in their body where the flow of their emotions has become blocked.

Children carry alot of energy blocks as a consequence of the child not been given the opportunity to fully feel and hence release these emotions.  I can see how these pockets of condensed emotions manifest in blocks to the child’s breathing, body posture and general health. 

I can see the obvious connections between their blocked emotional energy and blocks in their chakras and natural movements of energy around the body. 

In my private practice, it warms my heart hugely to witness the huge benefits that families experience when parents learn a parenting approach of actively listening to and validating the child’s emotions.    

For participants of our Parenting Seminars, who are now ready to take their healing of their relationship with their children, their partner and their own self to the next level, we recommend attending one of the "Healing Our Birth" Weekend Retreats.